"And this is the the point of spiritual practice to make us teachable. To open up our hearts and focus our awareness so that we can know what we already know and be who we already are." ~Rolf Gates~
Last week I attended a “Yoga Writing” workshop. As I put my mat down I met a woman who was in the same writing class as me 2 years ago. We embraced and her first words to me were: “Has your writing become better?” A simple question, no harm meant and my response came very fast, without thinking. “No it is actually worse!” I sat down and we meditated and I noticed the nagging question and my answer repeating itself in my mind over and over. It made me insecure, confused and deeply worried. A day later the question was still haunting me,
following me like a lurking shadow. The fear of exposure, or writing something wrong, pulled me down beyond the surface of any creativity, it closed me up. Anxiety lingered for 3 days until I sat down and got my thoughts clear. Yes, I do struggle with writing correctly, with grammar and vocabulary. I should mention here that English is not my mother tongue. I often don’t know what to write or how to express on the page, so it makes sense for the reader. But the point is I like to write, I like to express my feelings on the page, I like to get clarity and know which direction to go next. I like to play with the words and create a game of war with them or a play of light. I like to write about my struggles with the world, the pain in my heart, or the beauty of the birds or the amazing flowers in my garden, or how lakes and streams make me feel. I like to swim in the ocean of writing not knowing where it will take me. I like to learn more and become better.
I have learned from my teacher Valley, that no matter what, keep the pen moving, even if you do not have anything to say, or if you are stuck. We are all writers, because we all have words, stories, dreams and places that cling to us, that wait to come out on to a page, to become alive. Writing down from our deepest insides, from our souls allows us to remove and let go of pain and suffering. Allows us to get clear with our feelings, finding acceptance and then moving forward on that path which is called life. We are allowed to be free on the page and make mistakes. Most of the time the writing is just for us, it is to free our endless stream of thoughts, to make sense of moments, find answers and healing, trust and acceptance, hope and love. If we judge ourselves or are being judged we negate what the writing is all about and provides for us.
Needless to say, enter silence then unleash the power of your soul and keep the pen moving……
